Getting Sober: “The First 90 Days”: FROM THE VAULT
A Quick Note from the Coffee Shop:
If you notice something familiar in your feed over the next several weeks, Glenn and Mikey are on a brief medical sabbatical while Mikey rests and heals up following surgery to repair an abdominal aneurysm. To keep the coffee brewing and ensure our community doesn’t miss a beat, we’ve raided the vault to bring you an encore run of our “Best Of” catalog—handpicked straight from our all-time top download stats. Enjoy revisiting these essential conversations, thank you for keeping Mikey and the show in your prayers, and stay tuned—we will be back live in the coffee shop very soon!
Sober.Coffee Podcast Summary (Bonus #28)
Hosts: Mike & Glenn
Mike and Glenn open up the coffee shop to break down the reality of the first three months in recovery. Ninety days is the crucial habit driver—the proving ground where new living mechanisms, coping strategies, and daily reflexes are formed. Reflecting on their own early days and the recurring pain, confusion, and high relapse rates that affect newcomers, the hosts lay out a straightforward, honest roadmap of what to actually expect and how to survive the initial quarter.
The Brutal Honesty of Early Sobriety
- The Golden Rules (1 & 1A): Rule one is simply don’t drink. Rule two is to become an absolute sponge—listen, observe, and learn.
- Head vs. Heart: Mike admits he was the rare newcomer who walked into meetings taking furious notes out of sheer desperation. Glenn points out the trap many fall into: trying to make recovery an intellectual exercise in the head, when lasting change only takes root in the heart.
- It’s Going to Be Uncomfortable: Significant transformation does not happen in 28 days. Expect emotional turmoil, physical aches, weird sleep, and feeling completely out of your own skin. Just like the first 90 days at the gym, you have to surrender to the awkwardness and embrace the soreness knowing what you are building toward. As their friend Dr. John famously noted: AA is not a feel-good program; it is a get-well program.
Essential Survival Tools for the First 90 Days
- 90 Meetings in 90 Days: Immerse yourself fully in the environment. But avoid “sidewinder” attendance—don’t just show up to check a box, sit with your camera off, or judge people. Show up early, participate, help with readings, stay after to chat, and actually engage.
- Find a Guide / Temporary Sponsor: If the formal word “sponsor” spooks you, just find a friend who has walked the path before you and can help you navigate the steps and room culture.
- Sanitize Your Environment: Get alcohol completely out of your living space. Ditch the drug dealer’s number, stay out of bars, and steer clear of the people, places, and things tied to active addiction. If you hang around the barbershop long enough, you eventually get a haircut.
- Prioritize Rest & Mindfulness: Early sleep cycles are completely disrupted. Prioritize sleep and give your nervous system a chance to reset. Glenn highlights using guided meditations (such as Michelle’s Sanctuary on YouTube) to silence late-night head noise.
- Fill the Time Void: Going from drinking 12 hours a day to nothing leaves massive empty hours. Fill that space intentionally: attend back-to-back meetings, grab pizza between sessions, or join sober sports leagues like AA bowling, pickleball, or golf.
- Halt Major Life Changes: Do not attempt to fix or rebuild your entire world in the first few weeks. Making major life upheavals early on is building a castle on a foundation of sand.
Closing Perspective Celebrate every single milestone—one day, one week, thirty days, and ninety days are massive victories that provide 100% proof that you can get through today. Most importantly, a 90-day reset isn’t reserved just for newcomers. Anyone slipping into old complacency or poor routines can commit to a fresh 90-day journey right now to realign their habits, health, and spiritual footing.