You Can Lower Dementia Risk With Small Daily Habits-Interview with Alzheimer’s Association

I would love to hear from you. Send me questions or comments.

We sit down with Kaylee Rizzo and Hattie Finnerty from the Alzheimer’s Association Illinois Chapter to get clear about what dementia is, what Alzheimer’s is, and what early signs should prompt a real medical conversation. We also share practical brain health steps, caregiver support options, and ways to get involved so no one has to navigate this alone. 
• dementia as an umbrella term with Alzheimer’s as the most common form 
• early warning signs beyond typical aging like repeating questions, getting lost, and losing social filters 
• why a thorough diagnosis matters and why earlier care can help more 
• other conditions that can mimic cognitive symptoms like depression, thyroid issues, and vitamin deficiencies 
• brain health momentum in research including lifestyle intervention findings from the U.S. POINTER Study 
• realistic habits for brain health including diet, exercise, learning, stress reduction, and social connection 
• Alzheimer’s Association resources like alz.org, support groups, ALZ Connected, and the 24/7 helpline at 800-272-3900 
• caregiver guidance on safety, communication, and letting go of guilt 
• how to join the Walk to End Alzheimer’s, form a team, and volunteer 
I always tell everybody go check out the Alzheimer’s Association website, call the helpline 
So make sure you leave us a review, subscribe to our YouTube channel as well, and check out the Alzheimer’s Association website. 

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Welcome To Patty’s Place

SPEAKER_02
0:09

Welcome to Patty's Place, a place where we will talk about grief, dementia, and caregiving. I started this podcast in honor of my mom, Pat, who passed away from dementia about two and a half years ago. So I want this to be a place where you know you're not alone and we can talk about all those difficult subjects. So grab yourself a cup of tea, a cup of coffee. If you're having a really bad day, a glass of wine, and let's get started today. I'm very excited about our guests today because I'm always telling you to go to the Alzheimer's Association website. Well, today I have two guests from the Alzheimer's Association. Uh Kaylee Rizzo, she is a senior development manager with the Alzheimer's Association, Illinois chapter, where she works with communities, volunteers, businesses, and families to build awareness and support for the mission, including the walk to un Alzheimer's. She's very passionate about connecting people with resources and creating meaningful ways for communities to get involved in the fight against Alzheimer's and Alz dementia. And we also have Haiti, Hattie Finnerty. Sorry, I hope I didn't botch that up. She's the director of community engagement for the Alzheimer's Association Illinois Chapter, where she leads program staff and mobilizes volunteers to bring education programs, support groups, and other resources directly to communities. She also oversees the Illinois Chapter's annual research symposium, connecting families, caregivers, people with dementia, and professionals with the latest research and practical resources. So welcome to Patty's Place.

SPEAKER_01
1:30

Thank you for having us. Thanks for having us.

SPEAKER_02
1:33

I'm very excited. So let's start with kind of an overview type of a thing. So what is the difference between dementia and Alzheimer's?

SPEAKER_01
1:44

Kaylee, do you want me to answer that? Go ahead. Okay. Sometimes we might go back and forth with each other. So um, but also I like to just describe it as dementia is our umbrella term. And underneath it is our list of symptoms. So oftentimes people will say, Well, okay, well, what does that look like? As I'm getting older, I might have some of these symptoms.

Dementia Vs Alzheimer’s Explained

SPEAKER_01
2:06

When we're talking about these symptoms, um, it's anywhere from we've all heard those stories of someone getting behind the wheel of the car and saying, I'm gonna run up the street to the grocery store, and now they're 70 miles past the grocery store because they forgot how to get there. Or, you know, someone that loves to plan and organize, they're not doing those things anymore. Or we're noticing individuals becoming very isolated and withdrawn. So when someone goes to the doctor, they talk about these symptoms. Alzheimer's disease or dementia, it is not that normal part of aging. So the first thing is our memory loss, right? Um, the formation of new memories. So we like to say dementia is your umbrella term, it is your whole list of cognitive symptoms, but underneath it, there are over 70 different dementias. Oh, okay. Alzheimer's is the most common form. So 60 to 80 percent of cases is Alzheimer's disease.

SPEAKER_02
3:04

Okay.

SPEAKER_01
3:05

And truly the only way to know is by getting a thorough diagnosis to decipher, you know, is it dementia or is it Alzheimer's disease? What exactly is it?

SPEAKER_02
3:17

Okay. So what are some of the common early signs? You know, that's not just that normal aging or occasional forget. I know you mentioned a few of them, but people get so worried right away.

SPEAKER_01
3:29

Right. I mean, of course, I always, you know, give this example, and I'm Kaylee's heard me say this before. You know, as we get older, we're not going to remember everything. I mean, I get my kids in the car, I'm throwing my bags in for work, and I'm halfway down the block and I'm thinking, did I shut the garage door? And I'll drive back around and like 99% of the time it's shut. But here, this is more advanced. So, yes, our short-term memory goes first as the disease progresses, our long-term will go with it. But we're sitting here talking to someone, and perhaps five minutes later, they're asking the same question again.

SPEAKER_02
4:04

Okay.

SPEAKER_01
4:05

So, you know, we'll see that. We'll see social filter is gone. So maybe now they're talking very loudly about people. Um, we're also gonna notice that yes, we all misplace our keys. I'm sure most of us at one point or another have misplaced our keys, but this is different. This is, I have my keys in my hand, but I don't know what to do with them. What are what is this in my hand? Or, you know, saying, Oh, this is my hand clock instead of this is my watch. So those are some subtle things we're gonna see, maybe incidences of um finances. Maybe now they're forgetting to pay their bills and there's final notices coming in the mail, or accusing others of stealing. Um sometimes my mom did that with my dad. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And it's, you know, it's it's heart-wrenching when you are the caregiver. My grandma did the same thing. She always would lose her gold watch, but she couldn't retrace her steps to know where she put it. So when we retrace the steps and found it for her, she would always say, Well, you stole that from me. I went there. How come you took that? I didn't see that there. But it's because they can't retrace their steps. Typical aging, we walk into a room and we think, Oh, why did I come in here? Oh, I know. And we grab the object. But here, individuals they can't retrace their steps. So they're accusing others of stealing or never finding the object to begin with. So those are some of the um warning signs to look out for. But again, I always tell people, yes, as we go through typical aging, some of this might be like, well, I forget that, but it's more pronounced.

SPEAKER_02
5:43

I with my mom, and I've I've told this story before with my mom, she always thought she accused my dad of stealing the money, and he wrote it all out for her and everything, and that didn't calm her down. But the I would tell her, uh, don't you worry about it. You know, me and Annie was her little dog, and I said, Annie and I, I live across the street from the bank. Annie and I can go get your money at any time, and that

Early Warning Signs To Notice

SPEAKER_02
6:05

calmed her down. So that's what I would say. And then she'd be like, Oh, okay, you know, for it. Uh, what are some early conversations and getting an accurate diagnosis? Why is that so important?

SPEAKER_01
6:18

Kaylee, do you want to see anything? I don't want.

SPEAKER_00
6:21

Yeah, that's okay. So uh ultimately what we know right now um and where the research stands is that we can help people that are in the earliest stages of the disease. We do have some FDA-approved medications that have been approved within the last few years. We also have some great research that's come out recently um and talking about protecting our brains and protecting that cognition. So the earlier that we can get someone to the doctor to get a formal diagnosis, the more opportunity that they have to do something uh for the disease. We know that the the early stages is where we can help the most.

SPEAKER_02
6:52

Okay. And yeah, with my mom, she would not go. She would not go to the doctor, she would not get diagnosed until it was we had to get her done. So speaking of that, so what's happening in Alzheimer's research right now? I know you just said there's a lot of momentum in the research, uh, including the early advancement, like early detection, blood-based biomarkers, that types of things. So, what what should people know about it?

SPEAKER_01
7:18

Um we're both smiling because we're like, who should go first? But um, I you know, I wanted to make a note too, like back to what Kaylee said with the whole thing of early detection. Sometimes it's not even Alzheimer's or dementia. It could be depression that plays a role of having, you know, the those cognitive um symptoms, substance abuse issues, thyroid abnormalities, and believe it or not, even vitamin deficiencies plays a role. So we always encourage people to talk to your doctor because it might not even be that at all. Um, but right now I think the most exciting thing is in the research space is really the brain health. You know, the association is moving toward brain health because we came off of a two-year um study that was done. It was a lifestyle intervention study called the U.S. Pointer Study. And it was across five clinical sites, and Chicagoland was one of them. And people had to qualify for this study, so they had to see if they were eligible. So it was for adults 60 to 79 years old, and they had to have some kind of means of improvement themselves, meaning maybe they had a poor diet, or um they were sedentary, and they had to have a parent or a sibling that had memory loss. So once they got approved to go into this study, there were two different groups. It was a structured group, which met with a US pointer navigator, and they, you know, met, I would say, once a month and would talk about everything. There was a non-structured that would just write things down and submit their data. Well, the individuals followed kind of like a like a program. So they were on the mind diet or the Mediterranean diet, they encouraged participants. Nothing was off limits on this diet, but they had to have things in moderation. And most people, when they hear moderation, they think, oh, well, if I love to have ice cream five days a week, maybe I'll just have it, you know, four days. But no, that's moderation. So they said, you know, dark leafy greens, berries were essential, um, limiting our red meat, so focusing on those lean proteins, having seafood two times a week. And they said two tablespoons of olive oil a day. So some of the participants they drank a tablespoon. I don't know if I would necessarily drink olive oil, but yeah, um they drank it. Some, you know, cooked with it or use it as salad dressing, and then they um focused on the diet, they focused on um their physical health and exercise. So they were put into the program at the Y for Silver Sneakers, and they just said, start off 10 minutes, 10 minutes, that's it. Well, I have a volunteer who was part of this study, and she said, Okay, I went to my first class. The people were the same age as me, and it was uh uh weightlifting slash cardio class. She said, I looked at the time, I was six minutes in, and I thought, I can't last 10 minutes. How do these people do this? But she did, and then they also um got them something called brain HQ, which was cognitive exercises, right? Keeping that brain active and the association paid for that. And then lastly, it was all about health monitoring. So when we go to our yearly doctor's appointments and they say, okay, well, you know, you can stand to lose maybe 20 pounds, or you have high cholesterol, we need to change your diet, or whatever that looked like for the individuals, they focused on that. And what they released at the international conference two years ago, Kaylee, I would say. I think that's right. Um, was people that were in the structured group, their brains showed that they were one to two years younger than what they actually were. Wow. So it helped, and it, you know, that was the most exciting thing because you know, when you're in community and you know, because you've you have a personal connection, sometimes you feel like, well, there's nothing I can do, there's no cure. But now they're saying there is something we can all do at any age, and they're saying if you follow these modifiable risk factors, you 45% of dementia cases could be prevented or delayed by just changing some things. Wow. So it gives people like hope that okay, I could change some things about myself and you know continue working on that.

SPEAKER_02
11:55

Uh definitely. I know myself included. Sometimes you worry because you know my mom had dementia. Does that automatically mean that I might get it? I know there's like a blood test for that, isn't there?

SPEAKER_01
12:08

Go ahead, Kaylee.

Why An Early Diagnosis Matters

SPEAKER_00
12:10

Yeah, so there is uh there is new detection, a new blood test. Okay. Um, and we want to make sure that everyone obviously has access to that and can pay for it. Just because you have a family member with the disease doesn't uh ensure that you will get the disease. Um, Hottie can speak a little bit more to the specific numbers and research, but we do know that as we age, the risk of developing the disease increases already. Um, and you know, and speaking about the brain health and the thing, things that we can do now. Uh, my kids are in preschool and going into kindergarten, and brain health is something that we talk about on a regular basis when we're exercising or doing things with friends like playing T-ball, we talk about how it's good for our brains. So I think, you know, being at the forefront of you know how we can teach people to do things differently is going to change the trajectory of the disease. Hadi, I don't know if you can speak a little bit more to the statistics and how it impacts people.

SPEAKER_01
13:02

Yeah, so like Kaylee said, so after the age of 65, your chances start to increase every um five years.

SPEAKER_03
13:11

Okay.

SPEAKER_01
13:11

And then after the age of 85, pretty much it is like a 50% chance. Oh, wow. Okay. Um, so I mean the numbers, of course, are startling, right? Like in Illinois, there's over 250,000 people living with this disease right now. Um, but you know, I think the more awareness we bring to it, it just helps people feel hey, they're not alone, but also there are resources out there for you to be able to help families. Um, you know, we had our facts and figures report that came out and they always release it um at the end of March, early April. And one of the things when it was coming, talking about like lifestyle and stuff, was only three out of four Americans say that they know, of course, lifestyle is very important for brain health, but only 46% strongly

Research Hope And The POINTER Study

SPEAKER_01
14:05

connect that these behaviors can reduce our dementia risk. So there's so much more out there right now, like really educating people on brain health. And I love that Kaylee does that with her kids because it's important it starts young now, right? We always want to make sure that we're starting younger as opposed to, you know, it's too late.

SPEAKER_02
14:25

Oh, for sure. And what are some little things? Like, I know people like puzzles or reading or different things like that, in addition to the diet and exercise, of course.

SPEAKER_01
14:34

Yeah. Um, you know, it's so we have a program called 10 Healthy Habits for Your Brain or Healthy Living. And I subscribe to that.

SPEAKER_02
14:43

I get those texts, yes.

SPEAKER_01
14:44

Oh, good. Um, and some of the things people say like, well, we're doing this, but of course, when you are riding your bike, you wear a helmet because traumatic brain injuries is a big risk factor. Or, you know, um keeping your brain constantly engaged. So, yes, crossword puzzles, puzzles are great. Um, the new craze now is the ma I can't pronounce a mahjong that everyone's playing.

SPEAKER_02
15:09

Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_01
15:09

Um, something simple as, and Kaylee's heard me say this brushing your teeth with your non-dominant hand. Oh, okay. I mean, you go into autopilot doing the same thing, and it's it's hard. I um can just give an example of myself. I just recently had rotator cuff surgery, so I had to use my left hand for everything. And let me tell you, using the left part of your brain takes a lot. I'm thinking, oh, this isn't gonna be bad, but oh, it some of the things it's bad, it's it takes work, right? Um, so you know, doing things like that, and even, you know, they say engage in ongoing learning, but that could be it, it doesn't have to say like go to the community college and like sign up for a course, it could be taking online, you know, courses, sometimes even with the libraries, um, are things that can help. And of course, we know exercise, we know our diet, social engagement is important, people don't do well in isolation. Um, so these are things you know, we have lower stress. Wow, it's hard, right? I wish there was a magic, you know, potion for a lot of these things, but there isn't. Um, you know, controlling, of course, our cardiovascular factors. So there's a lot um on there. And the one thing that the association is really moving toward, like I mentioned, is brain health. And on our website, we have a tool called healthy um habit building. And it's like a six-week, I want to say like six steps to take. And every week they send you something that's exciting so you can build your own habits and have that. Um, because of course, in a perfect world, we don't have any of these things, right? But it's not perfect, and we have to sometimes, you know, work with that. But those are just some of the little healthy habits that we can do.

SPEAKER_00
17:05

Well, and I think it's also important that it doesn't have to be a life-altering change. Um you can add it to part of your routine. Usually, um, nights before bed, I open up LinkedIn. LinkedIn has games and I go through and I do all the puzzles. Um, I like to see if I have completed the puzzles more quickly than my, you know, my connections on LinkedIn. Um, but it's something that helps me relax at night. It helps with the stress and it helps with, you know, it keeping my mind active.

SPEAKER_02
17:31

And and I, yeah, all those things are, like you said, little things can help with all of it. So I don't know if people realize how much support that the Alzheimer's Association gives for families and caregivers. So beyond, I know people know about the walk. So, what else does the Alzheimer's Association give for families and caregivers?

SPEAKER_01
17:51

We have, I think one of our most key resources is our helpline. Um, our helpline is 24 hours, seven days a week, and I can just give the number. Um, it's 800-272-3900. But those are master level clinicians, so they're helping individuals, yes, of course, for information referral, but maybe it's in those moment needs, right? Where someone's calling and saying, I don't know how to take the keys away from my loved one, or my loved one is resisting taking a shower. Do you have any tips? And they can help walk them through some of those situations. Um, our other resource is our website. I still think after so many years at the association, you can get lost in there because there's such great information. But you know, going on to alz.org and kind of just searching around, there's an interactive brain tour that you can like look through. Um, and then I would say our community resource finder. So let's say you're looking for an education program in the community or perhaps a support group. You can put in your zip code and it will pull anywhere from 25 miles to 500 miles away.

SPEAKER_02
19:02

And I have called, I called the helpline, and I can say it was very, very uh helpful for me because and I can never say this. It my mom had um, it starts with the A. It wasn't that she was in denial, but she just did not know she had dementia. Is that Agna? I can never say it. Anyway, it's not it's on your website, that's how I got it. Um, and so it wasn't that she was in denial, she just did not know she had dementia. You could not say that to her. And so it was very helpful when I called because I didn't know what to do. And so they they helped me a lot. And there was, yeah, the information on there is is wonderful. You can get lost because there's so much on there.

SPEAKER_00
19:44

You know, I know I agree. Uh with it. I love to hear when people have used the helpline. I think sometimes people are hesitant with an 800 number, but you know, I've been with the association for seven years. I started as a volunteer before, and I can't tell you how many people that I've I've asked to call the helpline and said this is really your first line. They're the people who are going to help. And every time people come back to me and say, you know, I didn't expect someone to answer the phone, I thought that I was gonna have to go through an automated system. And it's just, it's not that, it's real people that are there to help.

SPEAKER_02
20:14

Because it is, it's very stressful, not only for the person who has the dementia, but for the caregiver as well with it, because it's so many different things. So, what what advice would you give for a caregiver dealing with their loved one with dementia? Like, what's one of the easiest things they could try to do?

SPEAKER_01
20:35

I would say support, you know, get yourself into a support group. Um, the association also has something called ALZ Connected, and it's like an online community where if maybe you can't go in person, you can even look at ALZ Connected. But I would say, you know, just know that you're not alone. Oftentimes, um, I hear from people saying, I feel very isolated. Um, but I think the more support you can give yourself, and the best thing is you can go to a support group every day of the week if you feel like you need that. There's support groups all throughout the community, and I think the important thing is, you know, going to a support group and looking at again back to the website. There's virtual programs there talking about how to, you know, communicate with your loved one effectively, how to respond to some of those dementia-related behaviors, and just really educate yourself because the tricky thing about this disease is not one individual, no one is alike, every individual is different. So it's hard, right? Because what might be for my grandma might not have been for your mom. But I think really just equipping yourself with some of those resources does really help.

SPEAKER_02
21:50

I would agree with that as well, and also that to um say they're not doing these things on purpose. You know, a lot of times people get angry at them, and I Understand it because it it can be frustrating, but to try to enter their world and be like it they're not doing it on purpose and and to put their safety first with it, you know, because it was a very difficult decision that we, you know, when we had to put my mom in memory care, uh, because the doctors were like they said she was highly unusual. The actually the hospice nurse said, because she was still mobile, even though her dementia was so progressed. She, when we finally got her diagnosed, she was moderate to severe. And so they were like, You're not gonna be able to take care of her at home by yourself. And she actually got out on me twice in the middle of the night one night when she lived with me. I was never so scared in all my life. I mean, I got her right away, but it it's scary because she, if I didn't get her right away, I don't know what would have happened to her, you know, right with that.

SPEAKER_00
22:52

I also think it's not being afraid to start the conversation. I think that there's so much stigma around this disease, and oftentimes people aren't talking about it until they're in a crisis. And I think the more that we can make this, you know, a common conversation, we can hopefully avoid situations like that. I see posts on Facebook all the time of people looking for, you know, different senior living communities, and there's always somebody that steps up and says, you know, I would never do that to my mom. And I think that people just don't understand the different, you know, courses that this disease can take and how how much work it is to be a caregiver. So as a caregiver, being willing to start the conversation and find out what resources are there, find out what other people that you know might also be navigating this and could be a great support. I think the support groups and also as a caregiver taking care of yourself.

SPEAKER_02
23:40

Which is very difficult. It really is, you know, because you almost sometimes you feel guilty when you're a caregiver with it. But yeah, I I had some people say that I will never do that, and it's not what I wanted to do. I did not want to have to do that, but her my mom's safety was what was important, you know, and uh, you know, finding the right place for her, and we were very happy, my dad and I, with you know, the place that we found, and and we were there all the time uh with that. But it you you just don't want them to hurt themselves.

SPEAKER_00
24:13

Right. I tell people that as long as you're making the best decision for your loved one, that's the best decision for your loved one. Other people can't tell you how to navigate, you know, your unique experience.

SPEAKER_02
24:23

Exactly. Yeah, and and it is, you know, like you said, people with dementia, they have living with dementia, they they have certain things that are the same, but everyone is different. And so you you get similarities of like the stealing or they don't like the showers. Does anybody have they done any research as to why they don't like the showers, they fight

Practical Brain Health Habits

SPEAKER_02
24:45

it so bad?

SPEAKER_01
24:46

No, but a lot of the times it's because their sense of like independence is taken, right? It's kind of embarrassing for someone to oftentimes they forget, like, okay, I'm looking at this soap, but what is the soap for? So those things, you know, like the objects, things that we're so used to doing, they're forgetting how to do it. Uh and that's why it's like resistant. I mean the water temperature, it could be just a lot of things. Really, and I mean, you used to work in uh that realm of things. Do you have anything?

SPEAKER_00
25:22

I think it's just, you know, if you're put in an unfamiliar environment with an unfamiliar person, I think that any situation like that could be it, it could make you fearful.

SPEAKER_02
25:33

Well, it m everyone the caregivers used to tell my mom, your mom's so sweet, she's so nice. I go, Yeah, until you try to give her a shower, and they were like, Oh yeah. She like things came out of her mouth that would have never come out of my mom's mouth in the shower.

SPEAKER_01
25:46

We used to tell my grandma, okay, it's time for church, and that would always get her in the shower because she would never miss a Sunday. So she would get in the shower. But if we were like, Oh, so-and-so is coming over, she'd be like, Okay, I showered. I'm clean. And it's been like, you know, three or four days. But if we said, All right, it's time we have to go to church, or we're it's Sunday, we're going to church. Yep, today is Sunday, we're going to church. She would happily get in the shower.

SPEAKER_02
26:11

Uh yeah, and like my mom, you know, she had incontinence issues, which are very common. Yeah. And sometimes she would let me, you know, I'm like, come on, mom, we gotta change your pants. And other times she would say, Well, then don't look. Who cares? I don't care. But then always the caregivers would. My mom carried a baby with her. And like that baby was just like she would get upset if she didn't know where the baby was. And for uh a couple of days the baby went missing. I mean, so much so she was so upset. My dad, you know, went and got her an identical baby with that. Is that pretty common? Because the babies were donated to the memory care facility.

SPEAKER_01
26:48

Yeah, it's going back to like their long-term, right? So she was a mom, so she probably is going back to the time where she did have her children that were babies, and a lot of them find comfort in that. And you'll notice, like, at a lot of times at like memory care communities, they do have babies, they have sometimes pets. Um, they'll try to go back to what some of the people in that community maybe used to love or they were, but yeah, oftentimes it's you know, law we're reverting back to our long-term memories.

SPEAKER_02
27:22

Yeah, and my mom thought she was at the memory care was her grandma's house. And it which didn't surprise me because that was a time in her life when she was happy, you know, because she had a lot of traumatic things happen to her. So she kind of went back to a time when she was happy, and like and it was interesting with the other residents where like the one resident he thought he was back in college, he was in his dorm, you know. So it was it was always interesting where they thought they were with that.

SPEAKER_00
27:48

So I had a woman with uh 11 children, and she would come to my office every day and ask me uh how to get to the bus stop to get her kids off the bus. And I can imagine that that was the thing that she was most proud of in life was being a mom and getting to raise all of her kids.

SPEAKER_02
28:02

So it's important too to pay attention, right, to people's stories so you can jump back to them at that. So how can people get involved if they want to help?

SPEAKER_00
28:12

So there are so many ways to get involved with the Alzheimer's Association. We are uh we're getting into the heat of walk season right now. So uh starting on September 19th this year in Illinois, uh we have uh 28 walks happening across the state. Okay. Um, and there's over 600 that happen um across the country. So walk is a great way to you know get your foot in the water with being involved with the Alzheimer's Association. It is uh really

Helpline Support And Caregiver Tools

SPEAKER_00
28:40

the front door of our mission. It's how a lot of people are introduced to us for the first time because it's a big visible event. Um so those are coming up. There's also tons of ways to get involved as a volunteer. So uh Hadi and myself um oversee, I serve seven counties. Hadi, you're up to what is it, nine, eleven?

SPEAKER_01
29:00

I think it's a yeah, 11 or 12 counties.

SPEAKER_00
29:02

Yeah. So um, while we're incredibly passionate about the work that we do and have been with the organization for a long time, um it's really our volunteers that help us have the reach in community and help make sure that our resources are getting to people that need them. So there's there's tons of ways to get involved as a volunteer, whether it's helping to plan one of our events like walk or being part of our longest day committee. There's also the opportunity to help be a community educator, to help go out and be in community and introduce people to our awareness programs, to the resources that we provide as an organization. So I always say if someone is interested in being involved with the Alzheimer's Association, we will find a way to make the work meaningful for you.

SPEAKER_02
29:45

Okay. And I know I I've been at one walk before. So what is the emotional significance of you have the promise garden to bring families and communities together?

SPEAKER_00
29:56

Yeah, so walk really it's a fundraising event. It's the largest fundraiser that we do as an organization. Um, but it's also about bringing people together and showing the community that exists behind this disease. So when a participant comes to one of our walks, um, they receive a promise garden flower, which is a pinwheel flower. And each of the colors of the flowers represents a different way in which people are impacted. So we have blue flowers for people that are actively living with Alzheimer's or another form of dementia, yellow for those who are caring for someone, purple for those who may have lost someone, and orange is just for a general supporter of the cause, someone who believes in our mission, even though they might not be personally impacted. So we use those flowers during our ceremony, we carry them during our walk, and it's a great visual representation of the way that people are connected to our cause.

SPEAKER_02
30:43

Okay. And you said so if they want to participate in a walk, they could just do it themselves or they can form a team, or what can they do?

SPEAKER_00
30:52

Yeah, so you can absolutely walk as an individual, um, or you can bring some friends and family with you. You can bring your workplace, your coworkers, um, register a team for the walk. If you go to alz.org slash walk, you can put in your zip code and find a walk that's close to you. Um and we invite everyone, we encourage people to register in advance. That helps us with planning and organization. But if you um have a day that's available and you want to come join a walk, um, you're absolutely able to register on event day as well.

SPEAKER_02
31:22

And the money that's raised, where does it go? Does it go to the research or where does it all go?

SPEAKER_00
31:27

So walk dollars kind of go everywhere. Um, they go to research, they go to local initiatives, um, they they go to things like supporting the helpline. Um, so walk supports all of the work that we do as an organization.

SPEAKER_02
31:42

Okay. So I guess the other thing too, I always wondered, do we really know like what causes the disease, or are we still researching all that?

SPEAKER_01
31:53

We do know what causes

Hard Care Decisions And Safety

SPEAKER_01
31:55

the disease. It's the plaques of the tingles in the brain. Okay. So that's the two main culprits, basically.

SPEAKER_02
32:03

And how does somebody do how do you develop the plaque or the tingles on the brain?

SPEAKER_01
32:08

So everybody has either plaques or tangles, right? It's the way that they uh I'm looking for the word, like advance, right, in our brain. Some they just are sitting there and you just have plaques and they don't advance, but some do into a form of dementia.

SPEAKER_02
32:26

Okay.

SPEAKER_01
32:26

So that's why. So right now, go ahead. Okay, go ahead.

SPEAKER_02
32:29

No, I said go ahead.

SPEAKER_01
32:30

I was saying right now they're they're currently looking into that because with the new therapies that Kaylee mentioned, they are the first therapies to actually target one of the culprits, which is the plaques. So we've not had that before because with medication, they were just treating symptoms. Now, with the two new therapies that are out there, it's to target the plaques in the brain to give people more time to like be in those early stages of the disease.

SPEAKER_02
32:57

Okay. And you can be in those early stages for quite a while as well.

SPEAKER_01
33:02

Well, yeah, every individual is different, but yeah, you can be, or you can fly through them. It just depends.

SPEAKER_02
33:08

Yeah, because I know some it it's not, I think the other thing too for caregivers and people to understand, it's not like cancer where they go, Oh, you're in stage this and cancer with dementia you can be in all the stages all at once sometimes, and it goes fast with it. So it's kind of really understanding and knowing what your love who your loved one is and how they're functioning to be able to know what's going on with all of that. So so can you give us the helpline again? And I'll make sure I put this on the website as well.

SPEAKER_01
33:39

Yeah. It is 800-272-3900.

SPEAKER_02
33:45

And I always tell everybody go check out the Alzheimer's Association website, call the helpline, because to me, that's what helped a lot was understanding and learning about the disease. Cause then that helped me help my mom. Because you do feel helpless. Yeah. Uh you really do. And and I just I felt like there wasn't anything I could do for her, but I could give her peace, so at least I could try to not argue

Walk To End Alzheimer’s And Volunteering

SPEAKER_02
34:10

with her, you know, and just try to help her get through it every day. Cause it has to be so scary. I I I thought about that a lot with my mom, you know, to have dementia. Yeah. With that. So what uh any any parting thoughts, anything that you would like us to know for sure on the Alzheimer's Association? Any new things that are going on or things you want people to know?

SPEAKER_00
34:35

I really think it's just the importance of the conversation. We appreciate you having us on. I think uh talking about it, learning about it is the most powerful thing that we can do.

SPEAKER_02
34:44

I would agree with that. Yes. Having because it's not an easy conversation, but it's important to have. So, well, thank you so much for joining me today. That this has been so very insightful, and hopefully people will begin to have those conversations some more and maybe volunteer and join a walk as well. So thank you so much. So thank you. I hope you've enjoyed this

Final Thoughts And Next Steps

SPEAKER_02
35:05

edition of Patty's Place. So make sure you leave us a review, subscribe to our YouTube channel as well, and check out the Alzheimer's Association website. So hopefully you've enjoyed your cup of tea, your cup of coffee, or if you're having that really bad day, a glass of wine, and join us for another episode of Patty's Place.

Sobriety – Another Non-AA Path, coffee with Dean N

Title: Sobriety – Another Non-AA Path

 

Episode Overview

After a quick shoutout to a new listener in Bangladesh, Mike and Glenn dive into a candid conversation about the diverse paths to recovery. While AA works miraculously for many, this episode highlights that it isn’t the only way to get sober. 

They sit down with Dean Newcomb, a certified CCR recovery coach celebrating 18 years of sobriety, to discuss his unique, non-AA journey. Facing rural isolation and an unwelcoming initial meeting, Dean built his own customized program rooted in a direct, personal relationship with his higher power—bypassing the “middleman” of rigid religious expectations. 

 

Key Highlights & Takeaways

Religion vs. Spirituality: The discussion breaks down the vital distinction between man-made religious rules (the “purple robe people”) and cultivating a genuine relationship with a creator. Dean shares how finding God in nature, rather than a church basement, became the cornerstone of his early recovery.

The Shift from Pain to Fulfillment: Early sobriety is often driven by the immediate need to avoid pain and consequences. However, as Glenn, Mike, and Dean all note, long-term recovery is sustained by a desire for more out of life. Sobriety isn’t just about stopping the bad; it’s about actively filling the void with family, education, and genuine experiences.

Advice for the Newcomer: Dean outlines three actionable steps for anyone currently struggling:

1.      Get Honest: Completely admit to yourself that you have lost control. 

2.      Connect Higher: Begin building a relationship with your higher power.

3.      Speak Up: Ask for help. Even if you can’t get to a meeting, find just one person willing to listen to your story.

 

Guest Information

Dean is a certified CCR recovery coach and life coach specializing in helping people who need flexible recovery programs that fit into demanding lives. Listeners can connect with him and read his story on LinkedIn.  or at his website

WEBVTT

00:00:06.720 –> 00:00:31.770
Welcome to Sober. Coffee, a weekly coffee chat sharing experience, strength, and hope for anyone on the sober road to recovery. You can download sober.coffee weekly on all podcast platforms and check us out on Instagram at sober.coffee podcast and on Twitter at sober coffee pod. To learn more about us and to help support these sessions, visit online at sober.coffee. Here are your hosts, two guys on their own path of recovery, Mike and Glenn.

00:00:31.770 –> 00:00:33.370
Let’s join them at the coffee shop.

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What up, Glenn? What’s up, my brother? How are you?

00:00:35.610 –> 00:00:36.890
Hey. Good to see you again.

00:00:36.890 –> 00:00:41.130
Man, good to see you. You know, we’ve been at this, like, five and a half years ish.

00:00:41.130 –> 00:00:52.565
Yeah. So, you know, I was wondering what happens when it all ends now because we’re out in YouTube, so YouTube will hang on to him. But will the other platforms still hang on to it for a time, or how what happens when

00:00:52.725 –> 00:01:04.640
I don’t know. That’s a good question for Brian. Brian, if we keep transistor growing, does this stay alive forever or we shut down transistor, everything shuts down? Okay. Okay.

00:01:04.880 –> 00:01:10.080
But then and and then our our website stays as long as we keep Yeah. Right. Paying the bill.

00:01:10.080 –> 00:01:12.525
Right. Right. So So we hang it off of there.

00:01:12.525 –> 00:01:13.805
So maybe it goes on forever. Who

00:01:13.805 –> 00:01:17.645
knows? Anyway, let’s try and go on forever, at least for or our forever.

00:01:17.965 –> 00:01:22.205
I know. Totally. No. It’s funny. We, heard from a a listener in Bangladesh this week.

00:01:22.205 –> 00:01:30.620
Was so funny. Yeah. On the YouTube channel. They Awesome. They chimed in about the, the episode we did last couple of weeks ago about sing a song.

00:01:30.620 –> 00:01:33.180
And, like, they’re And We’re representing Bangladesh.

00:01:33.180 –> 00:01:41.595
Yeah. Nice. And, you know, we got a lot of views on our a couple of weeks ago, we we did a, I forgot how we titled it. I think it was AA Works a 100% of the Time.

00:01:41.595 –> 00:01:42.075
Yeah. That was

00:01:42.395 –> 00:02:02.460
We got a little bit of we got a little bit of noise back from that. Right? Because I think just the title people want there’s still those, ah, AA don’t work. And the thing is and we won’t it was a great episode, but, you know, I don’t if AA doesn’t work for you, my drum that I beat is go find something that does then because sobriety is worth it. You know?

00:02:02.460 –> 00:02:04.615
Yeah. But you know what? If I’m I’m gonna

00:02:04.855 –> 00:02:05.495
I know.

00:02:05.495 –> 00:02:17.660
I’m I’m gonna crush our guests. Fired up. I’m I’m gonna take a couple seconds here, but you got me going. If if I think if your brain says AA doesn’t work

00:02:17.820 –> 00:02:18.140
Mhmm.

00:02:18.140 –> 00:02:19.660
Your brain’s in the wrong gear.

00:02:19.660 –> 00:02:20.460
Yeah. Right.

00:02:20.460 –> 00:02:24.540
Because you’re still in the driver’s seat. You’re still ego driven.

00:02:24.540 –> 00:02:24.860
Right.

00:02:24.860 –> 00:02:35.755
You know it all, and I’m gonna tell these people what does and doesn’t work. Right. What and and I’m saying that with a 100% definitive experience because I said that.

00:02:35.755 –> 00:02:36.155
Right.

00:02:36.155 –> 00:02:43.435
And the minute I surrendered and sat in the seat, and I’m like, okay. Bring it on. I will do it. I will say it. I will listen to it.

00:02:43.435 –> 00:02:44.315
I will experience it.

00:02:45.610 –> 00:02:51.050
AA worked miraculously. So so we got a guest today. Taylor’s for three. Ding ding ding. Dean.

00:02:51.050 –> 00:02:51.450
Welcome. Welcome.

00:02:51.450 –> 00:02:54.250
Dean. We’re man, we went hot right away

00:02:54.250 –> 00:02:56.330
on Sorry, Dean, man. Just got right.

00:02:56.330 –> 00:02:58.890
Dean, are you an AAer or are you a non AAer?

00:02:59.715 –> 00:03:01.235
I’m a non AAer.

00:03:01.235 –> 00:03:06.035
Alright. Awesome. So tell me what’s work tell me what’s working for you. Let’s get right to it.

00:03:06.835 –> 00:03:18.000
Mine was a mixture. It was some of the ideas behind AA work amazingly well. The the first one, you have to admit that you don’t have the control.

00:03:18.000 –> 00:03:18.320
Right.

00:03:18.320 –> 00:03:24.960
There you go. That That’s a biggie. Yeah. Yeah. That to me is mandatory.

00:03:25.200 –> 00:03:37.585
After that, I don’t I don’t follow the 12 steps necessarily. I follow follow parts of them. Mhmm. But it’s for me, it was the relationship with God creating that.

00:03:37.585 –> 00:03:38.145
Yeah. Right.

00:03:38.145 –> 00:04:02.765
And then following along with what he teaches and how he teaches and I’m not an incredibly I I grew up, you know, in Catholic school, but it was just his overall teachings. It’s not that I fall into the the religious side of this either. For me, it was just a mixture of different ones that were

00:04:02.925 –> 00:04:06.525
So so, Dean, when when you say his teachings, who are you referring to?

00:04:07.325 –> 00:04:07.885
God’s.

00:04:07.885 –> 00:04:08.685
Awesome.

00:04:08.685 –> 00:04:51.490
So I I go according to a lot of what the bible says and how he does how to live life, the rules to follow, things like that. The only reason I didn’t do AA is when I when I quit drinking, I lived out in the middle of nowhere and there there I could not find a meeting. I found one meeting and I went to it and it was in the basement of the church And it was on like 06:00 at night. And I walked in and they looked at me like I was a complete foreigner. And they said, you can sit in but you can’t say anything.

00:04:51.810 –> 00:04:58.565
And so I in and they did not they looked at me and said, well, we hope this helped, but you’re not welcome back.

00:04:58.725 –> 00:04:59.685
Wow. Why?

00:05:00.245 –> 00:05:01.205
No. Why? Well, you can’t

00:05:01.285 –> 00:05:08.340
They had a special Yeah. They had a special something going on, and I was a foreigner to them. So I

00:05:08.340 –> 00:05:09.700
But that’s not a day.

00:05:09.700 –> 00:05:11.300
That’s a terrible experience.

00:05:11.300 –> 00:05:36.660
Yeah. I I stopped going and I because it was so difficult to find a meeting that I could go to, I lived way too far away and there weren’t enough people in town. They didn’t have any additional meetings that I could do. And I wasn’t able to drive the time frame for me to drive into town to the nearest one where I could get a meeting was an hour. Wow.

00:05:36.660 –> 00:05:57.645
And I wasn’t going to do that along with taking care of my son at the time and working and doing everything else. So I put together my own little program that I followed. And it was a lot of the rules to, you know, just follow along with. And it was me and God talking back and forth. We just we did it together.

00:05:57.725 –> 00:06:16.835
So so help me for me, right, I I grew up, you know, in a very religious household. It was, you know, not Catholic, independent Christian, whatever you wanna call that. Right? Yeah. And and and there were a lot of rules.

00:06:16.835 –> 00:06:31.320
Right? And and I think right? So so coming through AA and the spirituality, and I love the fact that you listen to the teachings because so do I. But but the the teaching I I had to unlearn in sobriety. I had to unlearn

00:06:31.880 –> 00:06:33.320
Some of the religious stuff.

00:06:33.720 –> 00:06:35.320
Yeah. I call it religious crap.

00:06:35.320 –> 00:06:37.240
What do you call it? The purple people you’re listening?

00:06:37.240 –> 00:06:38.680
No. The the purple row people.

00:06:38.680 –> 00:06:39.000
Right.

00:06:39.000 –> 00:06:52.515
Right? You know, who who make up all the man made rules. Right? But that’s but it kinda goes against with the Bible because the Bible’s about a relationship, not not rules, you know, per se.

00:06:52.515 –> 00:06:52.755
Yeah.

00:06:53.290 –> 00:07:06.330
So so how did you navigate that, or are you navigating that, or did did you even recognize the difference between religious rules and and a biblical relationship with with the creator and savior?

00:07:07.525 –> 00:07:32.520
That’s what in my mind, that’s what exactly caused was a huge piece in my original addiction. I grew up very Catholic. Going to school and doing all of and going to church and doing everything, the difference was the rules that the church put on it and how they didn’t necessarily follow their own rules. Right.

00:07:32.520 –> 00:07:33.640
Hypocrites. Right.

00:07:34.045 –> 00:07:41.885
Yes. Exactly. And so I fell away from that. And when I fell away from it, I just fell away from all of it.

00:07:41.885 –> 00:07:42.445
Mhmm.

00:07:43.245 –> 00:07:53.150
So it was coming back, but not to to the church. It was coming back to to God and and the the whole idea of the spirituality of him.

00:07:53.150 –> 00:07:53.710
Mhmm.

00:07:53.790 –> 00:08:31.060
And so in the early days, my mom used to say, you know, why don’t you just go back to church and why don’t you, you know, go talk with a priest, go do this, go do that. And I said, I’m doing one step better. I said, I go for hikes in our area and I can take a hike in the mountains for, you know, an hour or two and I just during that hike talked with God. And I said, can bypass the middleman and go right to the root of who I want my relationship with and it’s in his church. I’m in the middle of his nature.

00:08:31.060 –> 00:08:47.765
He created it and so I feel much closer with him during all of this and I get to the root of my problems way quicker. And so I took out the middleman, but I I stuck with the the spirituality of him.

00:08:48.400 –> 00:08:56.480
I love it. I love it. So so you’re out in the middle of nowhere. You you you gave AA a try. I’ll give you that.

00:08:56.480 –> 00:09:10.175
You gave it a try. You went. You showed up. It was a bad experience. But then you go away and you hunker down, and you’ve gotta battle this addiction, and you’re battling it with your spiritual malady kinda trying to get right spiritually.

00:09:10.895 –> 00:09:17.320
Sounds to me like a lot of work. It sounds to me like you had to do a lot of work. How long you’ve been sober, by the way?

00:09:18.120 –> 00:09:22.680
October October 18 will be eighteen years.

00:09:22.680 –> 00:09:25.400
Oh my goodness. October 18 will be eight years for me.

00:09:26.385 –> 00:09:28.225
Oh, okay. Yeah. Okay.

00:09:28.225 –> 00:09:30.865
That’s fantastic. That’s fantastic. How have you

00:09:31.025 –> 00:09:31.905
So Yeah.

00:09:31.905 –> 00:09:45.480
How do you combat the in the early days, if you can remember back that long, how did you combat what what would what did your toolbox look like for you not to just say, oh, screw it. I’m having a drink.

00:09:46.040 –> 00:09:53.800
That it was tough in the beginning because the house that I lived in, it was shared with another guy who was an active participant.

00:09:53.800 –> 00:09:54.600
Weird. That’s hard.

00:09:54.600 –> 00:09:54.920
Wow.

00:09:54.920 –> 00:10:09.545
So it was the two of us and we were a distance away from, you know, life. And so when I would come home from work, it was, you know, we used to sit down and drink together.

00:10:09.705 –> 00:10:10.105
Yeah.

00:10:10.105 –> 00:10:38.125
Now I would sit down, but he would drink and I would not. And it was weird conversations because he was drinking. And so in my mind, it actually strengthened my relationship with with my higher power and my and I say god Right. Because it’s who I consider. But it it strengthened me and what I wanted to do.

00:10:38.125 –> 00:10:50.160
And and I would look at him the following day when we were getting ready and going to work and he was hating life and I was sitting there going, this is awesome. Right. I’ve never felt this good in my life.

00:10:50.160 –> 00:10:51.520
Right. Right. Right.

00:10:51.520 –> 00:11:06.045
So it things like that helped me. I also, I went through rehab. I went through rehab twice. The first time I had no intention. I was told I had to go.

00:11:06.205 –> 00:11:22.275
The second time it was my choice. And so the second time around, I had created already the idea in my head that I was done. I don’t want this anymore. I don’t want the lifestyle. It had caused issues.

00:11:22.275 –> 00:11:42.010
Drinking had caused issues with my son. I wanted my my son back. I wanted my time with him back and I wanted I wanted things in life that alcoholism had taken away. And so that was my toolbox. I want more out of life than what alcohol has given has provided.

00:11:42.730 –> 00:11:44.570
So I want the other side of life now.

00:11:44.885 –> 00:12:07.470
Yeah. You know, Glenn does Glenn talks to that that there is that early part of recovery where I don’t want the bad stuff to keep happening, but there’s a flip in there that says, ah, I’ve tasted the good stuff. I want more of that. And and that’s what what Glenn has talked about motivates him more than the fear of the loss is the Well,

00:12:07.470 –> 00:12:26.965
now fulfillment of the future. We we you know, Dean, we we had a doctor friend, and he was actually forty plus years in the medical field for alcoholism, like psychiatry. And and he said there’s only one motivator in recovery, that’s pain. And and Mhmm. You know, at one point, got some confidence.

00:12:26.965 –> 00:12:34.490
I’m like, now I I I I think there’s a second one. He goes, no. We used to have this debate. I’m like, I think there’s greed. Right?

00:12:34.490 –> 00:12:44.505
And and that’s probably a a negative word. Right? But Mhmm. But it’s like, hey. I’m starting to see and I saw in you and you before I saw it in me.

00:12:44.505 –> 00:12:59.820
Mhmm. I saw this stuff work and and deliver a better life. And and so I came around for a period of time, maybe two or three years cause I wanted to avoid that drink. I wanted to avoid the pain and consequences of drinking. But then I’m like, you know what?

00:12:59.820 –> 00:13:05.020
I keep coming around. I built quite a toolbox cause I want more of this cool stuff.

00:13:05.020 –> 00:13:05.340
Mhmm.

00:13:06.245 –> 00:13:07.365
Yep. Love it.

00:13:07.365 –> 00:13:34.040
Love it. So so tell me can you get into specifics since, you know, typically, when we have somebody who’s got AA experience, we talk about steps and how that impacted them. Tell me kind of some of the specifics that you work on right now and how you work on your spirituality today to keep you sober. I mean, what specifically are you doing? Are you doing group bible studies with others?

00:13:34.040 –> 00:13:44.075
Are you doing independent re reads of books in addition to the Bible? Are you just reading the Bible, analyzing the How do you learn and grow? Yeah. How do you learn and grow?

00:13:44.635 –> 00:13:53.860
How I learn and grow, I am certified as a CCR recovery coach.

00:13:53.860 –> 00:13:54.420
Okay.

00:13:54.660 –> 00:14:34.225
So the connect kit group, I’ve gone through all of their training and a lot of the training, it stays away from a lot of the spiritual side Sure. Honestly. And so for me, it is I have on Audible, I have the bible. I listen every morning to that for about fifteen, twenty minutes and it’s just going over one more piece and it’s just reiterating things that I’ve forgotten. I was so involved with the church when I was younger.

00:14:34.385 –> 00:14:52.320
I remember so much of it. And so coming back, it’s just going over it again. But I I it’s not for me, it’s not just that piece of it. My belief I throw a lot of what I believe in there because it worked. Mhmm.

00:14:52.560 –> 00:15:19.760
For me, it was whatever worked. So I also believe that the whole idea behind it is that you’re supposed to get back to life. You’re supposed to experience all that life has to offer. Alcoholism took away the experience of life. So I went back to work, I started traveling, I, you know, started to create the life.

00:15:19.760 –> 00:15:56.505
I would, you know, my son got into hockey, partially because I played hockey when I was younger. So taking him to hockey practice and studying for school and I started to do all the things that I wanted to do in my head all along. So I got my bachelor’s degree, I got IT certifications, I got my master’s degree. I’ve started to fill my life with life. And that’s what kept me going because it was how I had, how my relationship with God had been that I wasn’t experiencing it.

00:15:56.745 –> 00:16:38.740
And the night that I quit drinking, it was God asking me the question, do you wanna know how life is really meant to be lived? And it was silence after that, and just waiting for me to answer the question. I finally said, yes, I do. And it was at that moment in time that everything started to fall into place of me going back to rehab and me, you know, starting all these processes and the inner drive to just drink was taken away. So it was in all of that that it started to let’s build this life that my head has always said I was capable of doing.

00:16:38.900 –> 00:16:59.435
It’s, you know, that voice in the background that I’ve always said I have two voices. One is the alcohol voice and the other is me. And so my deal was for eighteen or for twenty three years, I’ve let this alcohol voice take the lead and guide my life and it’s done a horrible job.

00:16:59.435 –> 00:16:59.915
Mhmm.

00:16:59.915 –> 00:17:17.940
So it’s my turn and now I’m gonna create the the thoughts and the processes that my other side has always wanted. And so I’ve taken the lead and it’s been eighteen years and I’ve done all these things. And so it’s a complete change, from one to the other.

00:17:17.940 –> 00:17:28.315
That’s awesome. That’s awesome. What’s your next, what what’s your next season of life? What what what do you look because your son obviously now is how old? Kind

00:17:28.395 –> 00:17:29.355
He’s 29.

00:17:29.355 –> 00:17:32.075
29. So he’s he’s kinda grown out of the house

00:17:32.075 –> 00:17:43.100
doing his thing. Yeah. Yeah. He’s doing his thing. So I’m remarried now, which this is much better this time around.

00:17:43.100 –> 00:18:07.300
We still have our issues. Everyone will, but that’s part of it. You learn to work through everything and that’s part of the whole feeling all the emotions, feeling how it is meant to be lived. And so now I’ve started a coaching, a recovery coaching program. I do life coaching as well.

00:18:07.300 –> 00:18:41.770
I also do the recovery coaching and I do it for people who are similar in nature to me. People who don’t necessarily have the time to step away from life and just go through recovery and do all of the steps and do all of it. I have the program similar to just how I did it. And I help get through into recovery and figure out their lives without the the whatever it is, alcohol or something else.

00:18:42.725 –> 00:19:14.365
Right. Right. You know, I I was blessed with the fact, and I’ve seen it happen so many times, and Glenn, I know in your story, happened with you too, that once we made the decision to get back and get sober, time became available. I mean, how how that was orchestrated that first two years of my sobriety, how I was given time to heal and and to build a foundation, it blows me away because I didn’t think when I went to when I went to rehab, I’m like, no. I you don’t understand.

00:19:14.365 –> 00:19:26.900
I’ve got a mortgage. I’ve got responsibilities. I’ve got utilities. I’ve got stuff I gotta be paying for, and the people around me just said, shut up. Just go heal, and everything worked out.

00:19:26.900 –> 00:19:38.975
I mean, everything worked out, and I had time to heal, but I had to I had to have that inner desire to want to heal. So and I know, Clinton, you had a very similar experience.

00:19:39.375 –> 00:19:53.100
Yeah. I mean I mean, frankly, I I drank a lot because of those down, boring times, and I couldn’t take it. Right? Mhmm. And early in sobriety, you know, I started, you know, identifying that, and then I started doing.

00:19:53.100 –> 00:20:09.345
Right? I mean, that’s one the things about AA. There’s a lot of activities, a lot of opportunities to get involved, and and I did that a lot. Mhmm. You know, and I I I filled my downtime instead of, you know, dangerous thinking, I just got outside my head and went to a went to a meeting or I went to a coffee or

00:20:09.505 –> 00:20:09.745
Mhmm.

00:20:09.825 –> 00:20:13.745
You know, got involved. But that’s part of the tools that that I started to develop.

00:20:13.745 –> 00:20:17.905
Right. So so, Dean, what do you how do you get your message out?

00:20:17.905 –> 00:20:22.040
How do you let people know you’re there to help them through recovery? Especially on the coaching front.

00:20:22.040 –> 00:20:23.400
On the coaching front. Yeah.

00:20:23.880 –> 00:20:31.080
I have a website. I’m also on LinkedIn. I do a lot of, posting on LinkedIn about my my story.

00:20:31.080 –> 00:20:31.480
Oh, good.

00:20:31.480 –> 00:20:42.045
That’s how I met that’s how I met, Greg. Oh, yeah. It was LinkedIn. Okay. And so him and I had a call and we actually talked.

00:20:42.365 –> 00:21:21.650
So I read his postings, his story and he reads mine and that’s how my primary method of getting my story out and getting the message out of what I do, is through that. But I also have, my website which I’ve created and it’s fairly new. I’m still working on building it, but I have a blog, series that I do on there. And, so Greg and I had talked and I said, you know, my next step would probably be, seeing about a podcast. And he goes, well, he goes, let me introduce you.

00:21:21.650 –> 00:21:23.890
So that’s how I met you guys.

00:21:23.890 –> 00:21:40.765
Well, can I can I make a recommendation for you? If you do decide to go podcast Yeah. We were gonna buy a couple of $125 mics and do it over Zoom and, you know, and Yep. And and do it all ourselves. We’re sitting in the middle of a beautiful studio right now.

00:21:40.765 –> 00:21:51.620
And you know what it does? It does a couple of things. First of all, it delivers quality, audio. It keeps us in check, so we’re we’re accountable. We need to be here.

00:21:52.340 –> 00:22:01.140
It’s it’s serious because sobriety is serious. And and and so, anyway, we use AudioHive here in Chicago, but

00:22:01.140 –> 00:22:11.465
fine It provides our focus to be on Topic and not technology. Content and and We don’t have to worry about technology. Worry about playing stuff in which we would have screwed up.

00:22:11.465 –> 00:22:12.425
Right. Right. Right. Right.

00:22:12.425 –> 00:22:13.625
Yeah. I get it.

00:22:13.625 –> 00:22:32.320
Well, that’s exciting. So as we wind up here, give talk to the newcomer. Talk to the guy who’s still out there, gal who’s still out there kinda struggling with their sobriety or thoughts of becoming sober. What would you recommend to them as some good action items to do

00:22:33.295 –> 00:22:59.380
at this juncture? First, be honest with yourself. Be completely honest with yourself that you’ve lost control and you don’t have control over your drinking or whatever drug it is you’re doing. Create your relationship with whoever your higher power is and find people who you can talk to. Those are the three biggest things for me.

00:22:59.620 –> 00:23:29.870
It’s, you know, one, you have to admit you have the issue. You have some sort of problem. And the relationship for me with God was crucial. It was the biggest piece to help me make it through the hard times and then being able to talk with other people. Whether it’s people who are the the friendliest because they know your whole story is going to a meeting and talking with people who know your story Mhmm.

00:23:29.870 –> 00:24:06.745
Or know your background, how you got there. Other than that, talking with anyone in general will really help because just being able to spill to someone who’s willing to listen will help you. That’s my belief anyways. If you can’t make it to the meetings while those help the most, speaking with anyone, speaking with someone who at least will listen to you so that you can start to help, get the help you require. That’s my biggest thing.

00:24:07.545 –> 00:24:20.740
You have to learn to ask for help, reach out, you know. Asking for help is is difficult for everyone, but especially people who are trying to hide what their life has become.

00:24:21.140 –> 00:24:47.420
That’s where my whole journey started with three simple words, I need help, you know. That’s where it started. So I I love it. I I think this this session has been so great because I I think I hope the message that our listeners get is that there’s a lot of people out there recovering right now with 12 steps, without 12 steps, with spirituality, with with some commitment, with some honesty. It it brings me hope.

00:24:47.420 –> 00:24:53.820
I mean, go find a way. As you said, go talk to somebody. Pick up the phone. Go to LinkedIn. Find Dean.

00:24:54.060 –> 00:25:01.325
He’ll link will be on this LinkedIn be on our website. Reach out to the show. What is it, Glenn? Podcast@Sober.Coffee.

00:25:01.325 –> 00:25:02.125
That’s exactly what

00:25:02.125 –> 00:25:02.285
it is.

00:25:02.285 –> 00:25:10.525
Yeah. Just email. Just email podcast@Sober.Coffee. Start the conversation. Let people help you out, and and that’s Right.

00:25:10.525 –> 00:25:13.830
I I think this has been great, Dean. It’s been great because

00:25:14.070 –> 00:25:14.790
Yeah. It has.

00:25:14.790 –> 00:25:35.885
I need people to hear that AA is a is a way. It’s not the only way, but it’s a way. And so you got two resources here. You can go the AA route, reach out to Glenn and Mike. You can go the non AA route, reach out to Dean and and others like Dean, and, we really appreciate you being on this morning.

00:25:35.885 –> 00:25:37.085
Yeah. Thanks for taking the time, dude.

00:25:37.085 –> 00:25:40.960
We appreciate it. I appreciate you guys having me on. I definitely appreciate it.

00:25:41.040 –> 00:25:42.400
Luck. We’ll come on to your podcast.

00:25:42.400 –> 00:25:43.200
There we go.

00:25:43.200 –> 00:25:45.200
Alright. Alright. Thank you very much.

00:25:45.200 –> 00:25:46.000
Alright. Cheating.

00:25:46.000 –> 00:25:46.720
Alright. Cheating.

00:25:46.720 –> 00:25:47.520
Please have a good one.

00:25:47.520 –> 00:25:48.080
Alright. Bye.

00:25:50.415 –> 00:26:12.580
Thanks for joining us for today’s coffee chat. To contact the show, email us at podcast@sober.coffee. If you need immediate help, the AA hotline is 808391686. The National Suicide Prevention hotline is (800) 273-8255. Remember, Mike and Glenn are sharing their own journey on the path to recovery.

00:26:12.740 –> 00:26:21.105
Any suggestions, medical or otherwise, are their own experiences and should not be viewed as professional advice. See you next week and remember, there is a solution.