Don’t be Brad

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Welcome to Sober. Coffee. A weekly coffee chat sharing experience, strength, and hope for anyone on the sober road to recovery. You can download Sober. Coffee weekly on all podcast platforms and check us out on Instagram at sober.coffeepodcast and on Twitter at sober coffee pod.

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To learn more about us and to help support these sessions, visit online at sober.coffee. Here are your hosts, two guys on their own path of recovery, Mike and Glenn. Let’s join them at

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the coffee shop. Are you ready? I’m always ready. You were born ready. You were born ready for this moment.

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Don’t you feel that

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For this moment?

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Yeah. For this moment. Don’t you think?

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I have a lot I have a lot loaded into this moment right here, right now that I’m I’m looking forward to engaging with you.

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Yeah. It is. It it’s I I always believe that I’m I belong at the intersection I’m at. I I don’t know why. I mean, a lot of it is because choices that I make.

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Right? I have choices this morning when I woke up. Do I go have coffee with Glenn or do I not? You know? I had a choice last night.

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That’s never a choice. You gotta you gotta show.

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Gotta show. Right? But, yeah, I’m glad we’re where we’re at right now with sobriety, and I’m glad that we are where we’re at with our relationship. I respect it, appreciate it so much. We’re both very busy during the week, and we try and connect the best we can.

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We stay involved and texting probably every day. Mhmm. Phone calls when we can find the moments and time when we need when they’re really needed. You know, we could jump on the phone 10 times a week, but it’s really not needed. I mean Right.

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We just poke check, make sure everything’s good during the week, and then we get together on the weekends when we kind

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of Yeah. You know, it’s like early on in Sober. I called them eight eight times a day. Yeah. Now I talked to him once a week.

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Yeah. Right.

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Right. But but a lot of that’s know what he’s gonna say.

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Right. Yeah. Exactly. You know? Right.

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Right.

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No. I was just thinking as we’re as we’re jumping on here, a couple things. One is, you know, going through the storm. Right? I mean, today is the we were laughing about the first wheel earlier.

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You know, the first wheel. You know? I mean, it’s on the highs and lows of of life. You know? Started

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Constantly on the move.

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Yeah. I started this guy today about captaining a ship. I said anybody can captain a ship when it’s docked. Mhmm. I’m like, the minute you go out and the minute those waves start to roll.

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Mhmm. You know, I said that separates, you know, the the real folks from the wannabes. Mhmm. But I’ve also noticed, and and I kinda talked about the the tapestry in in my tapestry Mhmm. Annual tapestry reviews coming up here in, you know, in a couple weeks.

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And but it’s so easy to get stuck in the day to day details and grind and, you know, the ups and downs and, hey, the last three emails are great and the next four are gonna suck. Mhmm. You know? So it’s easy to to get wrapped up in that, but I I had an opportunity this week. You know?

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We we had we had a lot of family in town. We had eight people around our our dining room table, family, just kind of how the stars lined up. And and I was able to bring myself up a little bit from that daily, you know, storm and and daily waves navigating that and saying, you know what? This never would have happened without sobriety. Right.

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And I just thought how blessed. Right? And and like like a week ago or so, you you sent me a picture of you and your dog. I mean, that that stuff doesn’t happen.

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Right.

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You know? And and that stuff’s more rewarding than any million dollar check.

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It really is. I mean, it’s truly, truly is.

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I just love it. I just love it. So so, hey. I we we almost Yeah. Little precursor.

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We almost had a special guest during this slot. Brad?

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Brad Pitt?

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No. We didn’t. But but let’s talk about Brad.

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Okay.

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But but we almost had a special guest. I extended an invitation, and the timing wasn’t right.

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K.

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But the willingness

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Okay.

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Was. Okay. So it’s my daughter, Catherine. Really? Yep.

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K. And she’s actually in town. Okay. She’s at her boyfriend’s parents’ house, and they had stuff to do this morning during studio time. You know?

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Because I said, hey. You know? I mean, the the value with her coming in that that I see, and I know I haven’t talked about it with you yet, but we’re doing talk we’re talking about right now is, hey. Here’s where I was. Right.

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Here’s how I felt. Mhmm. Here’s the decisions I made based on the data and experience with dad that I had. Right. And then, hey.

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I I checked out for a bit and I watched. Right. And over time, things changed. And and so I just thought, you know, we we have we have people listen and and a lot of people looking for hope Mhmm. In, you know, redemptive relationships with their kids.

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Right? Or or or relationships with their spouses. Or

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Yeah. Or or, you know, they’re involved with alcohol relationships.

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So Sure.

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So I just thought it would be a good perspective and

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Oh, I love it.

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Yeah. She said, I can’t I can’t make it in. She goes, but I’m totally willing to do that.

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Well, have her gal check with our gal.

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Yeah.

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And, you know, we certainly can get to scheduling at some point or another.

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Make make sure we got the budget for it.

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But I so in void of void of that very special guest, we got we got this week without, like, a guest, but let’s talk about the guest that’s not here. Let’s talk about love. Let’s talk about Brad.

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Yeah. I love our guests, but, man, excuse me. One on one

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time with Mikey, man, is is priceless. Precious priceless. And and look. I I think Brad’s got his own program, and I’m not here to judge Brad, but I’m I’m here to be judgmental of when you have a platform to go out and say a lot of things, like, this is a platform for us to voice our opinions. Right?

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It’s a it’s a platform. And

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and for for that one person that doesn’t know.

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Right.

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Right? Right. You know, there’s a there’s a gentleman out there in the world by the name of Brad who communicated, you know, sobriety. And he’s on the sober path in seven years, and I’m on the sober path, sober path, sober path, and and then he decided not to be. Right?

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So, you know what? I actually you know, on on all of our social medias, I I posted a a I don’t even know what it’s called.

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A makeup meme.

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A meme. Right. It and it said, don’t be Brad. Right. Right?

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And and and then it had a line underneath it, right, that that talked about why. You know? So so we had about 95%. Well, let me ask you. Mhmm.

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When you first saw that, heard that story

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Mhmm.

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Right? Was the first thing that came to your mind?

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I was very disappointed in in the betterment of that individual. I I felt sorry for that person because they’re throwing away they’re throwing away a gift that they that they received seven years ago of abstinence from alcohol, which gives you clarity, which gives you everything. Clarity gives you everything.

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So that shows where the health of your sobriety is today. It does. You’re thinking about somebody else. You know what my immediate thought is? And so about my Mhmm.

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State of my sobriety today, I’m selfish still. And I and I said, hey, if he can do it Mhmm. I can do it.

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Mhmm.

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Right? I’m like, hey, maybe he figured out the way to do it. So my brain, after eleven years

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Mhmm.

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Is still wired to think, is there a chance? Mhmm. And and that’s that’s

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Well, I don’t need it. Don’t my brain went and the whole purpose of our post. Right. I don’t need a celebrity. I don’t need a celebrity to tell me that that people drink normally out there.

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I went to a ballgame, that picture you referenced with my daughter. We went to a ballgame, professional ballgame, and and and we’re standing there, and I’m seeing a thousands, tens of thousands of people around me enjoying alcohol. Some responsibly and others with the same responsibility that I did. Right? But but I saw those responsible drinkers, I’m like, okay, Mike.

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Surely you can have one beer at a ballgame. I know how it ends for me. That’s the problem. And I have a feeling I know how it ends for this celebrity, and that’s the problem.

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Well, he’s already had so so we’ll talk about that. But this meme, right, there’s actually a picture of a guy that looks like like Brad. There’s some similarities with a drink. And it says, don’t be Brad. And then the the tagline says, the most dangerous drink is the one that you can convince yourself you can handle now.

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And and it’s funny because we we we got, you know, it’s quote unquote viral.

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Right. The thing

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is the thing the post is blown up. Right? And and 95% totally get it, totally understand, agree with it. The 5% are like, man, you you guys are evil. Why would you call you know, why would you judge somebody?

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Why would you call somebody out? And, like, we’re not calling that’s not the objective of this. It’s to wave a caution flag because we know where the brain goes. Yours went to, hey. I feel sorry for Brad.

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Mine went to, I can handle this shit now. Brad can do it, I can do it. Right? And, you know, so so my my brain literally and I heard somebody talk this week. I was in the conversation.

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A guy shared a story where he was doing, you know, Coke along with the booze. Mhmm. Right? And I literally I’ve never done Coke, but but I literally, in my brain says, Glenn, that’s that’s the answer.

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Mhmm.

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Right, Glenn? If you only that’s how you can handle booze. You know, if if you had only done Coke with the booze, you would’ve never had the issues that you had. You you would’ve managed it.

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Oh, let me tell you. No. You would magnify this. That’s my brain.

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Right? So when I when I hear the story of seven years and now, hey, I’m off the wagon and and and, hey, I’m I’m drinking moderately. Right? That’s my that was my life goal for years. I I never succeeded.

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That’s why, you know, I’m I’m on the path now. But but I think there’s an issue. Right? I I think there’s, you know, one, I think celebrities. Right?

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They are no more special people than we are.

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Mhmm.

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In fact But they’re

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in a buffet influence.

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I would put correct. I I think incorrectly. Correct. Right. I I I think I think I would put you up as a model citizen, husband, friend, family member, dad.

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I I would put your check marks above anybody in Hollywood. So so okay. Let’s play that

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up for a second, and thank you. But but but I think the world puts wrong check boxes wrong check marks in the wrong check boxes.

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I think if you make money, boy, you’re automatically up there. K. You know, I I I I think if whatever. I I think there’s the it’s the wrong scale.

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Well, what would you tell me if I said, Glenn, I wanna continue the podcast, but I’m here to tell you, I’m good to have a cocktail, a glass of wine with dinner occasionally, and have a beer at the ballpark. Can we still do the podcast? What what would the conversation look like for you and I?

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I would say we can absolutely do the podcast. You’re not gonna be on it. Yeah. I mean, I would. Mean I mean, how do you do that?

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Right? How do you speak about the value and and and success of sobriety if you drink it?

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Right.

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I I I don’t know how that’s possible. It’s like being partially pregnant. Yeah. You know, you you either are or you aren’t, but but but I think people put other people on the problem with social media and Hollywood types. It doesn’t need to be Hollywood types.

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It be anybody. But, yeah, you put people up on a pedestal Mhmm. You’re gonna get disappointed. Right now, there are people, right, who are in sobriety, well known, and they’re very inspirational.

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Mhmm.

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Very inspirational. You know? And and I don’t wanna name names because I don’t wanna bring light.

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So why did he go public? Why did he do you think? And again, it’s a rhetorical. You don’t know what he’s thinking, but why did he go public? Why didn’t he just go have a cocktail?

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Well, I think he is public, and I think people probably see Saul. Right? And and it’s funny because, you know, and again, I don’t know the details, so I don’t wanna get too far down this road, but it was almost like, hey. I’m just gonna have one, and and then he had a couple disasters, but he’s still committed to just having one or two. And you know what?

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I’ve been around the block. I’ve been doing this, you know, quite a number of years, and I’m touched with Sober. In recovery on many, many fronts. I’ve only seen one person be able to do that. Go back from heavy, heavy drinking.

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In fact, the one guy, you know, I call him a two point o.

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Mhmm.

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Because he lived his entire life every minute of every day at two point o alcohol or point two

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o. Okay.

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Right. He was always drunk. And and now he’s he he says, you know, again, that’s a key thing. He says, hey. I have one glass of wine on Friday night, every Friday night.

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Mhmm.

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One glass. I’m like, hey. I’m not sure if I believe you. Right? But b, you know, that’s one out of a million.

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Okay.

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You know? And and and so I’ve I’ve reminded myself, hey. You know, once you’re a pickle, you can’t turn back into a cucumber.

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Right. Right.

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You know? But, I mean, hey, I cheer for the guy. I mean, nothing you know, I I don’t know what the objective is. I don’t know what happened. I I don’t know any of the details.

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All I know is where my brain went to the instantaneously when I saw that. And and we I. Mhmm. Because you didn’t know about it till you saw it. But it was like, hey.

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You know, our stance is to coach and and say, hey, man. Don’t don’t let don’t let Brad influence your sobriety.

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There you go. I love that. I love that.

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Because that’s that’s dangerous as can be. Yeah. Yeah. You know?

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It it you know, interesting topic because there are still times in my seven plus years where I’m in an environment where I’m like, yeah. That’ll be good right there. That’ll be then it hit the spot for me right there.

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But It’s amazing, isn’t it?

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But but but as quickly as I do, I I need to proactively, and it is instinctually, but it still is a turn a turn of events that I have to get my brain wrapped around the fact that I can’t have that moment because that moment, I know will turn into misery. Right? I can’t there’s no way that I have that moment and walk away. I I know that about myself. It’s like without a shadow of doubt, I know that about myself.

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So I gotta stay away. I can’t be I can’t be like Brad.

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Yeah. And and it’s just amazing how the brain works. Right? The the brain remembers good times. Right.

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You know, a lot more than the bad times. Right. I have to force myself. So I I think instantaneously knee jerk, you know, reaction are the good times.

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Right.

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I have to force myself into playing the tape, remember the bad times.

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Right.

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But, I mean, hey. There was another guy who died recently. Right? He was a big proponent of, you know, AA and sobriety and everything else, and then all of sudden he died in a hot tub.

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Yeah. Right. Right. Right.

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And and you sit there and say right. And and and so I think there’s there’s there’s danger in doing that. Right? You know, I think, well, you shouldn’t be public, but here we are on the podcast.

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Yeah. Right. Right. Right.

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You know? But we’re not nobody knows our last names or you know? So I I I don’t know. What I do know is the the brain plays crazy tricks. Yeah.

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Yeah. And and it’s amazing how you and I had different reactions. You know, I

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think I think it shows how selfish I am still.

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You know, I thought of me. Mhmm. My my instant reaction was thinking of me. Hey. Maybe I could do that.

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Boy, remember that time I had great hey. What if I could have one glass of wine? I mean, my family were drinking really cool martinis this week. Yeah. You know, and I was drinking iced tea.

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You know? Did I think for a second, hey. You know what? I remember when. Boy, wouldn’t that be cool?

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Yeah. But I immediately played the tape, and I’m like, man, you take one sip. Yeah. Right? Because I’m making these martinis.

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I’m like, I don’t even know if they taste good. No. Right. Right? Should I should I taste test and just just take a sip?

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Right. I mean, that’s where my my brain went, and I’m like, you know, hell no, man. I mean, I’ve done that. Mhmm. And I’ve relapsed every single time I’ve done it.

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Right. Right? So that’s playing the tape and you know? But, you know, it’s just amazing what what the brain does and and how the brain processes things. You know?

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Beautiful.

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Yep. So what would you what what’s your takeaway? I mean, what’s your your giveaway to the listener as they wrestle around with this Brad thing happening out in

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Work your program. Don’t don’t be influenced. Right? Have your program. Have your sponsor.

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Work your steps. Work your tools. You know, don’t don’t let a piece of wind out there, you know, that you don’t even know, you’re not even associated with

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Mhmm.

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Impact your commitment, your program, your world.

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Mhmm. Alright. And I would say give it a give it a try. You know? Give give full sobriety.

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No. Give full sobriety

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a try. What? Drink drink moderately?

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Right. But in in addition to abstinence, yeah, we we don’t wanna we’re not recommending that.

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Yeah.

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In addition to abstinence, give a program a try. Get get yourself better. Heal heal yourself. Yeah. Work on those character defects that, you know, that you know you can you can do some work on and and give them up and and yeah.

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I think that’s the message that I want people to hear. Take your own path was what you said. Right?

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Well, my path was a path of surrender. Right. To follow somebody else’s path.

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Right.

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To follow 12 steps. Right. I mean, that

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was my path. I tried my my path long enough, and I

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got, you know, shit ass, you know, results every single time.

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Mhmm.

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Until I surrendered. And I’m like, okay. I’ll do what you told me to do. Right. And I still do.

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So Alright, brother. Be Glenn. Don’t be Brad.

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Be Mike.

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Alright. See you, man.

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See you, guys. Thanks

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for joining us for today’s coffee chat. To contact the show, email us at podcast@sober.coffee. If you need immediate help, the AA hotline is 808391686. The National Suicide Prevention hotline is 802738255. Remember, Mike and Glenn are sharing their own journey on the path to recovery.

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Any suggestions, medical or otherwise, are their own experiences and should not be viewed as professional advice. See you next week and remember, there is a solution.

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Stay safe in the city of Chicago. Beautiful city.