Podcast Summary: The Inside Out of the “ISM”
Hosts: Mike & Glenn
Guest: Dr. John
In this episode, Dr. John rejoins Mike and Glenn at the coffee shop to continue their deep dive into alcoholism, sharing pivotal moments from his journey and breaking down the true nature of addiction, connection, and relapse.
Redefining the “ISM”
Dr. John challenges the traditional view of alcoholism, stating that he was “born scared” and that alcohol itself didn’t cause his disease. Instead, he describes alcoholism as an “ISM”—a universal, internal yearning to fill an emotional void.
- The Universal Void: Humans are the only creatures on Earth who torment themselves trying to fill this emptiness.
- The Admission Tickets: The “ISM” manifests differently for everyone. There are hundreds of 12-step programs identical to AA; they simply have different “admission tickets” (e.g., alcohol, shopping, eating).
- Religion vs. Spirituality:
- “Religion fills the void. Spirituality teaches us to embrace the void.” While religion relies on a set of rules, spirituality is about building a strong relationship with something greater. Dr. John doesn’t label himself as “happy, joyous, and free”—rather, he views his ISM as God continuously poking his void, reminding him it is a never-ending process.
The Power of Connection
The core message of the episode is that intellect alone cannot cure addiction. True transformation happens through human-to-human interaction.
- Wounded Healers: Healing occurs when the wounded heal the wounded. As the famous quote goes: “The opposite of addiction is connection.”
- The Ultimate Need: Dr. John shares a powerful story about his dog, Samantha, who taught him how to give unconditional love. He concludes that giving love is our only true need, summarizing it as: “You can’t keep it if you don’t give it away.”
- Heaven on Earth: For Dr. John, heaven is pouring yourself into someone else. “I don’t know what heaven is, but the closest I’ve come to is when I lose myself in another.”
- The “We” of AA: Glenn and Dr. John agree that Alcoholics Anonymous works strictly because of the “We.” We cannot see our own blind spots without others.
The Reality of Relapse
The conversation shifts to a cautionary tale from John, who shared his experience with relapse, proving that “every bottom has a trap door.”
Dr. John emphasizes that triggers are just excuses—relapse is a calculated choice where a person thinks through the action and does it anyway. He breaks down relapse into three distinct stages: Emotional, Mental, and Physical.
The 5 Steps to John’s Relapse:
- Complacency: Becoming bored and complacent.
- Distraction: Losing focus on recovery.
- Skipping Meetings: Halting attendance.
- Loss of Mentorship: His sponsor moved away.
- Isolation: He stopped connecting with his own sponsees as they drifted.
Ultimately, it was his gradual movement away from the program that caused the relapse. Despite this, the hosts emphasize a philosophy of grace: hate the sin, love the sinner.
Advice for the Newcomer: The “Karate Kid” Metaphor
Dr. John offers a grounded, realistic perspective for anyone new to recovery. He reminds them that “AA is not a feel-good program; it is a get-well program.” Life is still going to be life, and while medical schools don’t teach spirituality, it is readily available in AA as the best therapy on the planet.
To close, Dr. John shares a “must-listen” metaphor inspired by The Karate Kid. Just like Daniel Larusso learning martial arts from Mr. Miyagi, a newcomer in recovery must possess three essential qualities:
- Openness
- Willingness
- Honesty
Final Takeaway
Glenn notes that through this program, there is no situation in life he cannot get through sober. Because alcohol remains “cunning, baffling, and powerful,” the episode concludes with a call to move forward into today with confidence, balanced by cautiousness.