California Sober is like being semi-sober. It’s trading one substance for another…for example, I’m not doing opioids anymore but I’m drinking alcohol. I’m sober, but I smoke pot. I’m sober but I take pain pills. Join Mike and Glenn in the coffee shop as they discuss this #trending topic and why it all comes down to this: how do you define sober?
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Holidays are loaded with stress, so grab a drink. No, not alcohol. Soda, coffee, tea – anything that gets your mind off what others are drinking. That’s the first tip for newly sober individuals going into family situations this Thanksgiving. Mike and Glenn share more tips and talk about their favorite holiday memories before alcoholism, their worst holiday memories, and what it looks like now in sobriety.
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Mindful drinking increases awareness and avoids crashing the plane. How? By being aware of why and how much you drink. It’s like keeping score. Mike tells us his score is something like “Drinks: 7353 vs Mike: 0” But admittedly you don’t have to get to the point where you lose everything or hit rock bottom and pay the ultimate consequences to pay attention to drinking.
In this episode you’ll learn mindful drinking is:
Pausing and evaluating each drink.
Making a drinking or alternative game plan.
Ordering first because it’s easy to order a beer, but if someone before you orders a shot, it’s hard to NOT order a shot.
Rehearsing what you’re going to say and saying it out loud until you are comfortable with it.
If you have a drink, don’t pound them, savor one.
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Through his own path to recovery, Stevie G stayed at a halfway house. While there, he found connections and moved forward in his own recovery, but he saw some things that were disturbing, as if the halfway house had lost the focus on helping recovering alcoholics. After leaving, Stevie was presented with the opportunity – a friend owned some 3 flats – and Stevie said “I think we can do better for people”. That was 30 years ago and he continues to work in the sober community with RCOSA sober living.
RCOSA is a privately funded non-profit organization providing sober living where individuals work on building a foundation for sobriety through love and support, and incredible counselors with lots of experience to help individuals cognitively and emotionally. Everyone gets their own room with different buildings for different demographics like age,and there are two groups a week with group and individual counseling. RCOSA has created a space where people feel like they are vested in their recovery, and have fun along the way. The facilities are top notch, costs are reasonable, and the location is very accessible. Individuals walk into an instant community.
Benefits and focuses of sober living:
Community
Accountability and structure
Direction and Guidance
Incredible Counselors: individual and group
Thousands of people have gone through RCOSA. The average length of stay is a little under a year. Why? Because
the idea of 28 day treatment is unrealistic – individuals are not cured after 28 days. It takes 6 – 12 months to change those neural pathways and stay at RCOSA is a minimum of 3 months. That’s where the value of RCOSA is, and that is why esteemed alumni are seeing such a benefit.
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Dr. John shares three ways to go: Drunk, Dry, or Sober. While dry is miserable, restless, irritable, and filled with discontent, and obsessive worry – sober should be the opposite, right? Wrong. Join Mike & Glenn and special guest Dr. John to discuss what it means to be sober.
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On their own path to recovery, Mike and Glenn will be the first to tell you when it comes to cravings vs addictions, both words are subjective. Discussing it at the coffee shop, they both agree – cravings are one sign of addition and fertile soil where addiction can really grip in and grow. When you’ve lost control of a craving and you just keep doing it, that’s an addiction.
Sober curious and wondering about cravings? Glenn suggests cravings last about 20 minutes. Can you suffer better for 20 minutes and use tools to get out of the situation like changing your environment or calling a friend?
On the road to recovery? Be aware when you’re going into a situation where you might be tempted – yes you may have a craving, but deal with it. Process it and have a plan.
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Dr. John relates the “ISM” of alcoholism to the human condition, a yearning to fill the void, a yearning for wholeness and connectedness. With Mike & Glenn, he discusses the viewpoint that we don’t need AA to tell us that drinking makes life s*&% or that if you don’t drink your life will be better. What we need AA for is that even when we don’t drink and things get better, even when we clean up our act, we still have a hole in our soul, still yearn, still hunger. If alcohol is the only thing that fills that void, it’s easy to relapse. Which makes working the program, going to meetings and staying connected important on the path to recovery.
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Steve G joins Sober.Coffee at a table for three and gives us a glimpse into his life and how he found sobriety. A sneak peek – it took losing everything over a 20 month period, being homeless and living in the back of a Jeep Renegade, then finding himself in a surprise intervention to get Steve on the path to recovery.
Now, 30 years sober, Steve still goes to a lot of meetings. Why? Because nothing will so much ensure immunity from drinking as intense work with other alcoholics. Besides sponsoring others, going to meetings, and being available to meet for coffee – Steve focuses on sober living, and is the Executive Director for RCOSA, a sober living community in Chicago.
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Dr. John joins the Sober Coffee shop with Mike & Glenn to explore Step 1 and why it is more complicated than it appears. After all, rarely will a person fail if they thoroughly follow the path. Yet 90% fail. Why? Because they don’t embrace the first step – you’re f&#@cked. Learning to live this reality is how you get better. Listen in for a deeper dive.
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Curtis and Danni had two very different journeys to recovery. While Danni’s tough childhood was filled with abuse and exposure to alcohol and drugs, Curtis was surrounded by social drinkers. Each shares their experiences from the first drink to how they found sobriety, and how they ultimately met each other and embarked on a business venture to create The Sober app.
The Sober app is a safe space where anyone suffering with addiction, or wanting to stay connected, can go to find recovery tools or get help virtually. From meetings and education to resources and community, it can be found on the app.
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