The guys discuss how not everyone is designed to be an athlete, when safely navigating a boat trip relies not only on sidewalks but traffic patterns, and why being the smartest in the room and naked doesn’t protect you from “flying rats”.
DcMonald’s and Plane Roofies
The guys discuss why you should always deny responsibility for the contents of your rectum, when having wheels means you don’t get line cuts, and how sifted muffins can be the leading cause of flesh wounds in at least one American household.
Fake Blindness and The Animal Assassin
The guys discuss how consuming Big Macs will inevitably constitute as birth control, when keeping your rotisserie chicken and karaoke machine dry is NOT the largest obstacle you’re being faced with, and why it’s better to die 130 years early than become a parent following a Tsunami.
A “Killer” Culinary Gift and Keistered Wine
The guys discuss how much aluminum foil is necessary when jousting a Buick, when three wishes won’t make your oil light go out, and why not paying for your horse to ride the subway totally prevents you from handing out your golden pocket candy.
“That sounded like it was agreement to me!”
The guys discuss why it is imperative to vet your wizards properly prior to completing any financial transaction, when is the best time to interact with nocturnal, wallet-less, lowballing vampires in need of transportation, and how “breaking off a piece” of 12 tons of Italian KitKat bars leads to a delicious black market.
“That one’s thumping up pretty good!” and “Read the Tesla!”
The guys discuss how urine soaked toasters make it nearly impossible to recoup your security deposit, when a perp can elude the police with a simple belly rub, and why a qualified Ball Rep and full ball sack increases your chances at $100,000.
“South of the Bean!!!” (self destruct sequence adverted)
The guys discuss how the hands up on Ted’s hips means not one goodbye shall be heard, when the “flopping” and “slapping” all but guarantees you’re going to give up that ambulance, and why “Those ARE supposed to be out!” was Damon Hasslehoff’s entire campaign platform in getting elected as Berlin’s Public Pool Commissioner.
Linda Hoe & Duckface
The guys discuss how the hyena’s extinction can only be prevented through simultaneous flipping, when creating a sound drop for a wildly popular podcast that is heard by dozens does not offer you infinite immunity to add to your exotic bird collection, and why it is so important to open every card from (Ba)Nana prior to litigation.
Swole Chads, Endless Edits, and Bottomless Popcorn
The guys discuss how to properly disarm an 8-inch WW1 artillery shell, when a Pizza Surprise Attack will definitely confuse two grown men TWICE, and why not responding to your doctors requests made in random different voices merely confirms consent.
Booger Shush & “What’s a blunch?”
The guys discuss why it is virtually impossible to fight “mirror demons” without a Feng Shui stick, when a one rock promise and a new thrift store wardrobe all but guarantees you the lead in a catchy pizza promotion, and how a naked man missing half of his sub sandwich still somehow has access to infinite Slim Jim’s.

