The guys discuss how tight mittens cause irreversible emotional scarring, when hygienically pressure washing your coin purse dictates that you always go second, and why beating a monkey at Monopoly still doesn’t get you out of buying dinner.
A Smiling Slit and “you don’t win a fight with a limp squirrel”
The guys discuss why Damon believes his recent vacation photography expose may be the funniest thing he’s ever done, when it’s absolutely imperative that you leave your ruckus holstered, and how Polish storks can lead to free phone calls.
Traffic Cougars and “Can anyone drive a van?”
The guys discuss Damon’s newest way to order sandwiches, when a blind man’s nipple rub will totally crush your confidence, and how an entire bank heist hinges on high visibility.
ComaToes and “That’s a full yodel”
The guys discuss how why the lack of crowing makes everything much scarier, when flatulence is all you really need to expand your real estate portfolio, and how an international pizza contest might just cancel Christmas.
Wilfredmus Brimelus and “Oh, it’s always like this?”
The guys discuss how just keeping your mouth shut would’ve turned a $35,000 Ebay purchase into a $2.3 million windfall, when being “intertwined” assures you at least 1000 feet of pleasure, and why it’s imperative that you eat a sandwich and use the bathroom before boarding a $126.5 billion Columbia-Class Submarine.
Gary Poppins and Prescription Cola
The guys discuss why you should never Uber with scissors, when the instructor decides to “step out” and the lesson intensifies, and how cage lids are the single most important thing in regards to the safety of the village.
Fecal Incidents
Throbbing Wicks and “send in the frowns”
The guys discuss how if everyone just did their part and gathered 200-250 bees the world would be a much safer place, when sucking multiple flippers means it’s time to eat, and why a WWII German Panther Tank is every realtor’s worst nightmare.
FlapSlacks, Fiscally Responsible Speakers, and “Is that a horse?”
The guys discuss how a friendship born of multiple mutual hatreds can last 40+ years, when a white coat obviously guarantees your medical prowess, and why telling someone their loved ones have died one letter at a time is so much more fulfilling than painting.
Nuts of Diplomacy and Yeet & Eat
The guys discuss why a man who hides in the bushes to photograph playgrounds should never run a youth internship program, when well-hung loaves of bread might just be the most appetizing thing you can eat in an alley, and how high you should fly the helicopter while searching for a ten foot tall spotted coyote.

