The guys discuss how a very lucrative Ponzi scheme can easily be formed by just clearing out your unwanted organs, when homemade currency and/or ID card should immediately raise suspicion, and why you should never buy your weed from Tyler.
Psycho Mike, Elton Jeff, and Tanklin Roosevelt
The guys discuss why an overly generous employer makes going home nearly impossible, when hearing “just don’t get it in his eyes” initiates a prayer for pepper spray, and how pork-filled sky scrapers will inadvertently regulate the price of a cup of coffee.
Hamper Hoops and Spubee Dooby Doo
The guys discuss how being inquisitive about the location of a butthole can coax any teenager out of their room, when LOCATION is the single most important factor for proper interpretation of a cleverly titled 50K race, and why teaching a beaver to pull a rip cord is imperative when re-wilding Idaho’s wilderness.
Married for McNuggets and Plowing the Field
The guys discuss how one man’s hatred of chivalry led to a revolving entrance, when it is no longer necessary to return a borrowed snorkel, and why the time of day should absolutely dictate the value of material items.
Two Tones of Turds and Life Saving Quips
The guys discuss how Debra’s herpes comparatively have little effect on you getting your McNuggets, when stovetop flatulence needs to be addressed in your dating video, and why you should never exit your vehicle on the overpass to intervene in an abduction.
A Street Smart Hawk and “The pickle costs more”
The guys discuss why the best way to avoid eating dry cereal is to get yourself two VR headsets, when curbside vending truly defines the wealth of a rural community, and how a total unwillingness to pay the pizza delivery girl almost always results in death.
“You had to be a smiling ghost! That hole is huge!”
The guys discuss how a birthday celebration where the pig skins were completely irrelevant lead to them “banging”, when an extremely strong orifice and an ill-advised lift ends a first date with an ER visit and broken fingers, and why there is no breathalyzer needed once you see the aviators and Barbie Jeep.
Is He Here for the Snacks or the Sweet Revenge?: The Memoir of Damon Puracchio
The guys discuss how Google Maps grossly overstates the availability of commercial air travel, when a strategically placed bagel and raincoat automatically grants you additional vacation time, and why a coworker hugging a printer all but guarantees the demise of an entire room full of puppies.
Ghost Cops and “It’s not effing chalk!”
The guys discuss how late fees will still accrue even after grandma has passed, when a missing chair unlocks supernatural abilities in the realm of seating arrangements, and why Damon will never be kicked out of any public pools.
Freaky Frogs, The Wrong Leg, and Always Hot & Ready
The guys discuss how “anywhere” has an approximate range of thirty feet, when sleepwalking in the proximity of a Puracchio could result in bodily injury or maybe even death, and why you cannot acquire 2600 liters from one single milking session.

