If you’re reading this then that means we are in a state of emergency or Ted’s finally had enough of Damon. Either way, enjoy the nonsensical banter between two idiots that apparently cannot get their priorities straight this week!
The guys discuss when is the exact best time to “special order” your laundry, why tactical pants just never seem to live up to their name, and how no survey is ever accurate unless you talk you 100% of the dogs.
The guys discuss when an empty driveway can give you extreme HOCO sign confidence, why a free fritter for one cannot legally influence the dinner plans of many, and how ordering your breakfast skillet with onions can eliminate any possibility of having to share with a giraffe.
The guys discuss when your calendar can get you disqualified from the Olympics, why “dress casual” is the new norm for dumpster diving, and how the song Enter Sandman was actually inspired by dolphins.
The guys discuss why having lunch ready on Mars is so imperative, how Faco Fridays is going to become the new staple in the restaurant world, and when AI gets thwarted by a room full of “human lickers.”
The guys discuss how a three year nap can get you out of taking the trash out, when the possibility of nudity justifies a total reconfiguration of a mass transit system, and what exactly is the current street value of a swaddled cat as it pertains to vacation destinations.
The guys discuss how many skulls it takes to make you suspicious, when the temperature of nuggets can affect your bank balance, and why it’s a terrible idea to lose your head over camel cuddle time.
The guys discuss why Ted is too old to go back to college, when Damon’s keys always lead to the scene of the crime, and how you can be blind to the best french whiskey you’ve always never tried.
The guys discuss why there’s nothing more supportive than feathers and a Captain America diaper, where you can get your membership revoked merely for sharing TikTok videos with a gorilla, and how the number one cause of “ghost divorce” amongst singers has nothing to do with paranormal appearances.
The guys discuss how Damon’s contemplating a career move based on delicious traffic stops, why you may have to pull up to the next window and wait for your Swedish honey, and why eating a roll off your mom’s face means love.