The guys discuss why shark selfies are the #1 cause of lost Peace signs, where is the absolute most ignorant place to stand when determining your boyfriend is faking being a realtor, and how when one door opens it will also be closed by Doug.
Valloween and The Windsor Knot Fortune Teller
The guys discuss how a secondhand heart doesn’t make you bulletproof, when pink eye from a pastor might just save your life, and why an “agitated” alligator and a pocket full of sauces doesn’t always guarantee free chicken nuggets.
Tom Sellthicc and Billy San
The guys discuss why it is so crucial to know the passcode to your lady’s lingerie, when “Ted” becoming “Tom” during a space shuttle landing equates to infinite wealth, and how storage fees on a Boeing 737 are actually way more reasonable than you might think.
Chicken Sandwich, Shooooooming, and A Dwerk
The guys discuss how the decision of “soup or salad” will always set the tone for sexy time that night, when getting the mail absolutely becomes your most death defying daily experience, and why having a quality alarm on your kayak can prevent a permanent nap when mountain climbing.
Ted’s Burbee and Baked Casseroles
The guys discuss how a monkey with money is never hungry or horny, when a wedgie eliminates neck pain. and why an exploding nana leads to military dominance.
Beth Only & “Can I get ten threes?”
The guys discuss how the best way to determine a man’s wealth is by the direction of his zeros, when 5 stars and a shart guarantee crispy southwest egg rolls, and why you can never pack too much animal genitalia for transcontinental flights.
“I accidentally doodied trying to do a science.”
The guys discuss why sharing a scoop of cottage cheese and half a tomato guarantees you’ll be at every PTA meeting, when kicking over a stroller will save you from being scammed, and how broken buttons are the leading cause of infidelity in Texas.
Daddy Bear and Keistered Cookies
The guys discuss how Jamaican enchiladas guarantee a successful marriage, when scoring 200 points during a robbery will only make the dog laugh at you, and why even the thrill of peppermint cannot save Damon and his self-proclaimed adequacy.
The Pool Pianist and Sexy Raptor Sounds
The guys discuss how sultry train videos can be an acceptable substitute to funky minge, when arson can be considered foreplay, and why launching dipping sauces into space is about to become an acceptable normality.
“You got an STD at a funeral? …free pickle side…”
The guys discuss why it is so crucial to clock out prior to any workplace scuffle, when a chance meeting in Costa Rica instantly becomes deadly, and how Damon’s probably not a whale but definitely a mutant.

